Life and relationships

Whenever a relationship ends people always tell you to 'move on' and 'you're better off'. It doesn't feel that way when a relationship ends, even if it was only a short-term fling. When relationships end, be they romantic or platonic, long term or short - a part of who and what you are has died. While that may sound dramatic, it is true. Everyone you meet and have a relationship with adds something to your life. They teach you something about yourself you didn't know before. You are also someone slightly different to each person you meet. So when someone exits your life, that unique person you are with them ceases to exist.

I try to resist telling friends to 'move on' and 'there will be someone else for you' because when a friend is hurting those words won't help. What I find I need is just the knowledge that I have wonderful people in my life. Sometimes I just want to cry and tell my story over and over in an attempt to blunt the edges of the pain.

I just recently had a short term relationship end because J. picked the other girl. This was a relationship that I thought had lots of potential to grow into something more. While I'm pretty sure most people I know thought I was over-reacting a bit, I have to wonder about that. For me this ending brought up many other issues, because let's face it, I wasn't madly in love with J. (I didn't know him that long). It was all those other issues that I hadn't faced before that came to the surface and made this ending so traumatic for me. It is much easier to deal with all the heavy baggage I carry around when the trigger is really simple (such as J. dumping me) than if the trigger was major (such as the ending of my 4 year relationship with Superman). I've found that I can only deal with so much emotional pain before I break and then I just shut down emotionally. I had thought I'd dealt with all my issues with Superman in the last year, but obviously I hadn't.