Be Careful What You Wish For!

After J. decided not to see me anymore I decided to make myself feel better and re-signed up on eHarmony (that's where I met him and some others, it was a good experience overall). I quickly started the contact process with a couple of guys left over from the first stint - but obviously they were second choices. After two weeks with no new matches I decided to broaden my search and signed up on Match.com. definitely a MUCH broader selection! For the first day or three it was very exciting to get all these new profiles and winks and emails, now I just feel pressured and overwhelmed! (and of course, eHarmony sent me something like 20 new matches in the week after I signed up on Match - frustrating.) So now I feel like I've got all these guys wanting to, "say hi" and, "get to know [me] better". I've picked a couple and been more aggressive about contacting and getting to know them, but Oh, Lord, it's just stressful! How many should I be contacting? What is the norm? I can't even figure out if I can log onto Match and be 'hidden' so other people can't see I'm online. Being online sort of seems to attract them, like locusts. I, personally, don't want to even email a guy who only has one picture and in that he doesn't have a shirt on (why don't they wear shirts?). But suddenly, there he is, the shirtless wonder, thinking that we have a lot in common! If we had a lot in common he'd have a shirt on! I even set up dates with three guys (one eHarmony, two Match) for this past week. I met one on Saturday (a Personal Trainer) and one on Sunday (Cute Guy) and had coffee/dinner with a guy last Tuesday (Civil Engineer) . Is this just the new dating scene? Before I was always in school when I met people, so that was easy - hang out with a group of people until you meet someone through a friend and hook up. For me there was usually only one at a time.

To add even more complications to this situation, I had lunch with Superman last Tuesday. I really had a great time seeing him. We've actually been seeing more of each other the last few weeks. My family and friends are all very concerned about this development and I really do understand why - they did help pick up all the pieces of me after I moved out. But I can't see the point in letting someone into my life for 4 years and then just saying "b-bye" and never seeing them again. He is a great person and someone who is very great to his friends and I really like having him in my life. I don't want to be hurt again and I've got a wonderful sense of self preservation and I don't intend on letting myself be hurt again.

One last interesting bit in my life is PA. He and I have had some very intimate text messaging lately. I would date him in a heartbeat except that he just told me last week that he was having a girl move in with him. About two days later our text messaging became very interesting. What I really don't understand is that he is the one who is starting these text conversations. He of all people should know what it is like to have someone cheat on them and yet he is initiating these topics. I guess I'll have to have a serious conversation with him and get things to make a little more sense.